You know what? I’m absolutely loving this daily blogging. I don’t always have a topic to write about but it means that I’m spending more time documenting our daily lives and my thoughts and feelings which is something that had kind of been confined to my youtube channel for a while. I wouldn’t be able to keep this up long term but I think a month is enough time to give me my boost back and hopefully I’ll be able to pop in chatty posts like this more often.

The last few days have been tough; if you’ve read my previous posts and been watching our vlogs than you’ll know that Jasper was ill, then Jenson got ill, I got mega stressed and we all just needed a bit of down time. So much has been going on behind closed doors that just isn’t for here and although I love to share everything, not everything is mine to share; so it’s been so tough getting to the point of smashing my phone and only really being able to explain parts of why. We’re all okay though, just life proving to be a bit challenging, people proving to be a bit disappointing and doors opening in ways we hadn’t expected.

Today though we got a bit of normality back. Jasper went back to preschool and even though he’s not 100% himself I think that’s more the aftermath of being poorly and turning three rather than him actually being poorly still. He’s lost weight, his routine is a bit off and it’ll be a grand day when I get to brush his teeth, give him a bath and put decent clothes on him without all hell breaking loose but we’re getting there … baby steps.

Wednesdays are usually work days for me and I was really looking forward to getting through my huge to-do list after having zero work days due to Jasper being off last week but then I realised that my late nights of work have actually helped me to keep on top of things and I am in fact … on top of my to do list (kinda). We’d planned a messy play date at my friends house and I had planned to rush home to work afterwards but instead I just stayed and chatted and then leisurely came home and pottered around – it was wonderful!

Jenson is also not himself, he’s not eating or drinking properly and is falling asleep mid crawl; plus he’s waking A LOT in the night for bottles but again we’ll get there, it may just be a growth spurt or we may be back at the doctors next week. He really enjoyed his messy play date and it reminded me that I need to get him into more baby groups rather than simply keeping him occupied while I work.

Leaving the house, seeing friends and knowing that both of my boys have had a fulfilled day today really helped me to feel calmer and more in control again. I’ve also stocked my fridge with healthy and fresh food as we’d gotten into a really bad habit of late night take-aways! I started my day today with a hot lemon water and have planned a scrummy steak dinner to deter Pete from ‘just popping out’ for a take out!

Sometimes you need everything to get on top of you and for it all to fall to shit to be able to look up and climb back up. I don’t think I was taking on too much or there was anything we could have really done to prevent our crappy week; kids get sick, stuff happens but I do think I needed to reach ‘phone-smashing’ point to realise that I just needed that digital detox, relaxation and a bit of motivation to get us all back to health!

So here’s to a week of normality; a week of preschool, healthy dinners, routine and most importantly happiness!

Thanks for reading guys,

Jess x

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